I am in His thoughts...

I am a student pursuing my PGDM at a reputed B-school. As a part of the curriculum, we have to do an internship at a corporate this summer.

The college had its own placement process, but students could also try outside using their own contacts. By nature, a very shy person, the Group Discussion round marked my exit when any company came to our campus. Even 3 months after the process, I didn't get placed in any company. I had no contacts, so I couldn't try elsewhere.

One day in January, a good company offered me a placement without any group discussion or interview, just because they wanted freshers based in Chennai. I was grateful for this internship. It wasn't the profile I wanted, but I knew God had His ways...

Two weeks back, I just happened to meet an alumni of my college. (He accompanied his boss who delivered a speech) . He worked for a reputed firm. I wanted to meet him after the talk (to get details regarding an internship at his firm), but the speaker and the alumni left the hall soon after the speech. Angry at myself for not approaching him earlier, I left the hall, only to go out and find the alumni waiting at the car park because the driver was late. I rushed to him and inquired about the internship. He gave me his visiting card and left the place.

I mailed him and there was no reply. Two weeks passed, and I gave up hope of working for this firm.

During these two weeks, I enjoyed my walk with God. There were times when he filled me with His love. There were also times when I felt no trace of His presence. But there was a divine peace in my heart, throughout. I felt like praising God during this time. But I also remembered that there will be times when I will not want to pray. I kept asking God to remind me during those times that 'He always works for the good of those who love Him', that 'God is good, all the time', and that even if I couldn't feel His presence, God was with me, watching my every move, and loving me all the time. I prayed that God helps me trust Him when things are not working the way I want them to. I prayed that God gives me the grace to stand on His side when times are tough.

Today, being Valentine's Day, I saw many of my friends receiving surprises from their loved ones. With childlike faith, I asked God to surprise me today. Lord, please surprise me today with something, I asked him. But towards the later part of the day, I lost contact with God. I didn't feel so close to Him. There was a pang of guilt too. I didn't know what to do. I didn't feel like praying or praising Him. Those times had arrived.

It was then that the reflections of the past two weeks came to my mind. I knew God loved me and was working for my good. I kept reflecting on these thoughts.

When I checked my inbox this evening, there was this mail from my alumni's secretary asking me to attend an interview at their office on Wednesday. I was surprised and......happy! That alumni hadn't even replied to the mail I sent him. But unknown to me, he had actually made arrangements for the interview.

I haven't attended the interview yet, and I know not its results. This isn't a reflection saying I hope to get through the interview or that I'm believing a miracle will happen.

Its just that I realize God has been working on this internship even when I had forgotten about it, and (I assumed) the alumni too.

There have been so many instances, when I have asked God for something and thought he forgot about it, and soon after forgot it myself, but God has surprised me saying He remembers.

He remembers even the simplest and smallest thing we asked Him, even the most childish wish we have. When it is in accordance with His will, He will give it to us in His time.

No, don't get me wrong... This reflection isn't to say that always God hears our prayers (of course He does), and that He will give us what we ask him.

I am amazed and fascinated to think that God has been thinking of me all this while. And He has been making a way for me me all this while. For my creator, to have me in His thoughts always, what more could I ask for?